


Not Supposed To Love You Anymore

by palominopup



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:07:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palominopup/pseuds/palominopup
Summary: A tagged photo on Facebook sends Cas into a tailspin.





	

 

 

Cas stared down at his tablet. Carmen had tagged Dean in her damning picture. They were at a restaurant, but Cas couldn’t tell which one. He only knew Dean had lied.

  
Taking a deep breath, he stood up and went upstairs to their bedroom. He packed some clothes, his personal effects and took the picture off the nightstand. He left everything else. As he got to the front door, he took a moment to look at the framed wedding photo hanging on the wall. He let the door slam behind him.

  
At the hotel, he let his bag drop to the floor and sank down on the bed. He could have gone to Gabe’s, but Dean would go there first. A glutton for punishment, he looked at Facebook again. The picture had been removed. His phone rang and Dean’s name and picture appeared on his screen. He let it go to voicemail. He wasn’t supposed to love Dean anymore.

  
The next step was to call the department head and take a week’s vacation. How could he concentrate on anything with his marriage destroyed by a single social media post?

  
The week drifted by. Cas lived on junk food and soft drinks from the convenience store across the street from the hotel. Dean called several times a day. The texts were endless, but he’d deleted them all without reading them. He spoke to Gabe once and explained what happened. He didn’t even tell his brother where he was.

  
Sunday, he finally took a shower. He was weary of being unclean. He shaved and packed his bag. He was moving in with Gabe today until he could find a place of his own. He had an appointment with a divorce attorney after his last class on Monday.

  
The meeting with the lawyer went as expected. He didn’t want anything. Dean could have the house and all their belongings. A week later, he’d gotten notice that the divorce papers had been delivered. It had been three weeks since he’d seen or talked to his husband. It was killing him. He wasn’t supposed to love Dean anymore.

  
Gabe was giving him his space and not asking questions, but he got pitying looks from his brother that irritated him. He’d found a small studio apartment close to the campus and was prepared to put a deposit down. Things were coming together…or falling apart, depending how one looked at things.

  
His first class on Wednesday started at eight. He parked in his assigned spot and got out of the car, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder. He wasn’t looking where he was going and ran into a solid figure. He looked up. Sam, Dean’s younger brother, stood on the sidewalk blocking his path. “You owe him a fuckin’ chance to explain, Cas.” Sam, usually slow to anger, loomed over him, fists clinched.

  
“He lied,” Cas said, as if that explained everything. And for Cas, it did. After the horrible five year relationship with Michael, Dean knew how much honesty meant to Cas.

  
“He didn’t lie, Cas.”

  
“I saw the evidence, Sam. Posted on Facebook for all our friends to see.” His hands were starting to sweat and his heart played a staccato rhythm in his chest. He nervously clutched at the strap of his bag. He wasn’t supposed to love Dean anymore.

  
“He’s not signing the papers until you talk to him.” Cas knew Sam spoke the truth. Dean could be very stubborn. Sam gave him one last look and turned to walk away.

  
He couldn’t focus on his classes that morning and told his students to study quietly. When he returned to Gabe’s that afternoon, he closed himself in the guest room.

  
It was over. The papers were drawn up. The vows they made were fading. He opened up the small wooden box and took out the one picture he’d taken from their home. It was their anniversary the year before. Dean was laughing and Cas was kissing his cheek. They’d been so happy. He sat it aside and took his wedding band out. He stared at it for a long time before slipping it back on his hand. He purposefully didn’t look at the engraving inside. Blinking back a tear, he took it off again. He wasn’t supposed to love Dean anymore.

  
He wondered if Carmen and Dean were seeing each other again, now that Cas wasn’t in the picture anymore. They’d dated all through college and lived together for a year until she had an affair. Cas knew that Dean had loved her.

  
Cas leaned back on the bed. He took his phone and found the playlist he’d made that first week in the hotel. He named it Broken Heart. He touched the shuffle icon and Bryan Adams’ voice poured from the device. He hummed along. Midway into the song, he began to sing.

  
**_Oh I shouldn't care or wonder where and how you are_**  
**_But I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart_**  
**_I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before_**  
**_Cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore_**

  
**_Now I'm writing you this letter_ **  
**_And it's killing me tonight_ **  
**_That I agreed when you believed_ **  
**_It wasn't right_ **  
**_And I couldn't sleep up on the bed_ **  
**_So I'm down here on the floor_ **  
**_Where I'm not supposed to love you anymore_ **

  
**_Oh I shouldn't care or wonder where and how you are_ **  
**_But I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart_ **  
**_I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before_ **  
**_Cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore_ **

  
**_I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before_ **  
**_Cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore_ **

  
As the song faded and another began, he opened his Facebook app. He couldn’t help going to Dean’s page. Shocked, he scrolled through picture after picture of the two of them. Their wedding, cookouts, dates, birthdays. Under every picture was the caption, ‘Me and the love of my life’. It looked like Dean posted three or four times a day since Cas had left him.

  
He dialed Dean’s number. It only rang once. “Cas.”

  
“Hello, Dean.” He could hear traffic noises in the background and wondered where Dean was.

  
“I’ve missed you.” Dean’s words turned Cas’ world on its axis. He wasn’t supposed to love Dean anymore.

  
“Please don’t,” Cas begged.

  
“Don’t what, Cas. I haven’t heard a God damned word from you in almost a month. A month, Cas. You assumed the worst about me, filed for a fuckin’ divorce and wouldn’t give me a chance to explain…”

  
“You lied to me, Dean. You said you were going out with a business associate. You should have informed your girlfriend not to tag you in the pictures she took on your date,” Cas snarled. He knew he shouldn’t have called. This would solve nothing.

  
“It wasn’t a lie. Carmen wanted to invest Winchesters, Cas. It wasn’t a date.” When Cas didn’t respond, Dean continued. “I omitted the fact that it was Carmen because I know you hate her, but Cas, nothing happened. And nothing ever will. I told her I couldn’t take her money because I knew you wouldn’t be comfortable with her being a part of the restaurant. A friend of hers took the damn picture and sent it to her. She said she didn’t know why she posted it. Cas, please…I love you so much…”

  
Cas closed his eyes and bit down on his trembling lip. Dean was telling the truth. He knew it in his heart. What had he done? “Dean…forgive me.”

  
“Oh, Babe, there isn’t anything to forgive. I should have told you about Carmen. Come home. Please, just come home.”

  
“I didn’t trust you. How can you forgive me?”

  
We’re allowed to be a dumbass once in our marriage. Those are the rules. You used yours this time. Remember it when I fuck up, because you know I will.” Cas smiled. Dean could always make him smile. “Cas, come on home.”

  
Cas nodded and then realized Dean couldn’t see him. “Okay.”

  
“I love you.”

  
“I love you too, Dean.” He laid the phone down and opened the box again. This time, he put the ring on for good. No matter what, it would never leave his finger again. He shoved everything into his bag. Gabe was sitting in his recliner watching the news. He looked up. “I’m going home.”

  
“About time. That sorry bastard loves you.”

  
“I don’t know why, but he does.” Cas hefted the bag on his shoulder and let himself out. He vowed to never let anything like this happen again. He would spend the rest of his life making sure Dean knew how much he was loved.


End file.
